And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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