her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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