is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
