idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
