i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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