that's an acceptable place to lick
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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