hotel room ftw
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
