Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
