My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
