Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
