last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Bring me that man meat
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
