when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
