Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
