'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
