I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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