i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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