This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
