We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
