Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
