I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
