I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I need moral support for this bender
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
