i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
