She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
