I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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