i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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