i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just pee around me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
