i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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