what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
