He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
