Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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