Sponge bath it is.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
