Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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