No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
