nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
