Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
