I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
