Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
