he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
