I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
