HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
