So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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