There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
operation have a gay friend backfired
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
