On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
