I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have aggressive nipples.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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