i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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