that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
