I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
