hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So much rum. So many feels.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
