He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
