how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
