dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
