Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
