Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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